As a Personal Trainer it is sometimes difficult to keep up on the latest diet fads and the new fitness gadgets claiming to offer the most affective results. Two things seem to ring true when it comes to health and nutrition.  First, we are learning and gaining knowledge faster than we can possibly process the information and keep up. Second, humans are creative beings that become bored easily and demand new forms of food and fitness all the time. What was right or popular yesterday will mostly likely be wrong or out of style tomorrow.  When I saw this Trending Report come out in the IDEA Fitness Journal, I had to reprint it. As you glance over the list you might wonder like I did, “what will the list look like in 2013”?  According to the Hartman Group, these food and fitness practices are either “trending in” or on their way out.

Trending In                                               Trending Out

Kettle potato chips                                       Baked potato chips

Zumba                                                            Treadmills

Chicken thigh/dark meat                            Chicken breast/white meat

Whole cage free eggs                                    Egg whites

Fresh produce                                               Excessive supplements

Real butter                                                     Margarine

Stevia                                                              Artificial sweeteners

Healthy fats                                                    Fat free

Grass-fed meat                                              Processed soy products

Sea salt                                                            Low sodium

Portion control                                               Elimination diets (carbs)

Heirloom marbled pork                                The “other white meat”

Dark leafy greens                                          Wheat grass shots

Craft beer                                                       Ultralite beer

Farmstead cheese                                         Processed low fat cheese

Read the full report at www.hartman-group.com

Love

In AD 269 the Roman priest Valentine was martyred during the reign of Claudius II. He was arrested and imprisoned simply because he was caught marrying Christian couples, which was considered a crime at the time. Claudius actually took a liking to his prisoner – until Valentine tried to convert the Emperor and he was condemned to death. Although our hero was beheaded, Saint Valentine set a standard for the importance of lovers being together and joining their lives in mutual respect and passion.

As a couples counselor, I witness daily how individuals become lazy in love. At the start of their relationship they probably made a real effort. Once upon a time he sent her flowers at work, she wrote him long romantic emails, they talked on the phone until late at night, she gladly sat through the football games and he endured romantic comedies. When they started dating he planned exciting outings and she cooked him dinner by candlelight and served him breakfast in bed. Well, what happened?

As a relationship becomes more comfortable and familiar individuals can forget to make the effort needed. Motivation drops when the hunt is over, and the “happily ever after” appears to be locked in. Unhealthy patterns can replace the compassion and romance that once dominated a couple’s time together. Without knowing it, men and women stop prioritizing their special person and start taking him or her for granted. That is when a relationship will likely suffer and passion will grow cold.

It’s never too late to turn things around. Stop neglecting your partner and start doing things that foster a strong, healthy, loving relationship. Here is a list of tips that have helped others remember the basic Do’s and Don’ts of Love.

Do walk hand-in-hand together

Don’t walk one in front of the other

Do meet and greet each other with a hug every time you get home

Don’t give the dog attention first

Do have conversations over dinner sharing the day’s highlights

Don’t watch the news during your meal

Do be flexible and compromise

Don’t pout if you don’t get your way

Do kiss good-bye every time you part

Don’t yell “I’m leaving now, see you later”

Do be supportive of each other’s goals and dreams

Don’t be judgmental or cynical

Do sit together on the coach to watch a show or movie

Don’t watch TV in bed

Do love, honor and respect

Don’t undermine, degrade or tease

Do talk with one another over breakfast

Don’t read the newspaper during the meal

Do schedule time for foreplay

Don’t leave lovemaking until just before falling asleep

Do ask for what you need

Don’t try to mind-read or assume your partner can mind-read

Do accept your partner for his or her uniqueness

Don’t try to change your partner

Do have fun together

Don’t act your age

Do enjoy each other thoroughly during love making

Don’t rush through sex or do it the same way every time

Do surprise your partner occasionally

Don’t be boring and predictable in the way you show love

Do plan ahead for birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine’s Day

Don’t buy gifts at the last minute

Do be quick to forgive

Don’t hold grudges

Do lavish with “I love yous”

Don’t hold back words of affirmation

Creating a loving, long-term relationship is a time-consuming, challenging endeavor that you will face your entire life. But it is also the most rewarding aspect of truly living!

Gina Guddat

I believe that we are all a complex blend of the physical, emotional, spiritual, and intellectual. Each component affects the others, be it positively or negatively. So in 2012, consider a new approach to setting goals. Create resolutions that are more holistic in nature and encompass more than just a weight loss goal.

Now, I am not suggesting you throw exercise and nutritious eating out the window. But, consider adding other healthy goals to your list like taking your vitamins each day, flossing your teeth, scheduling an annual physical exam and sleeping at least 7 hours a night. Is there a test or procedure you have been putting off? Have you wanted to have orthotics made for your shoes? Is it time for a new mattress? We can be neglectful and abusive to our bodies. This year, listen to your body and care for it in a loving way.

Every day in my counseling practice I see examples of how our emotional health impacts our physical bodies. People who are depressed tend to be lethargic and suffer from low energy. Their emotional state may cause them to crave comfort foods, overindulge and eventually gain weight. People who have anxiety and a tendency to worry too much can get stress headaches, stomachaches and hives. They may also have trouble sleeping, which can affect their overall physical health. It’s not too late to think about how you will take care of your emotional self this year. Taking time to spend with supportive friends, journaling, finding creative outlets, volunteering, locating a good therapist and learning to meditate or pray all foster good emotional health, which generally leads to better physical health as well.

Furthermore, we can be proactive about our financial health. In today’s economy every penny counts. Is there debt you would like to pay off? Is it time to downsize? Is there a much needed vacation you would like to save for? Write it down and break it into small quarterly goals. Having healthy finances relieves stress and creates peace of mind.

The mistake many Americans have made is focusing too much on weight loss goals each January, and forgetting all the other aspects of being healthy and happy. Educational pursuits, family bonding time, spiritual growth or a new career path can all be included in a well-rounded goal plan. It is important to have a vision for the future, but still remain flexible and resilient. Instead of having a narrow scope, create a wider spectrum of dreams and goals in all areas of living. You might not achieve all of your New Year’s Resolutions. But, with a long list, there is a great chance you will meet many of them and celebrate success on December 31^st, 2012!

Hope is what we have when we can’t clearly grasp what the future holds. It’s not necessarily all we have, but it is the spiritual component that has a great deal of power. In fact, it is hope that has maintained prisoners of war,  helped victims survive torture and refugees starvation. It is hope that keeps a woman believing in her distressed marriage and parents praying for their wayward children. It is hope that keeps our country alive during this economic crisis. Without hope there would be no reason to continue when things look bleak.

But how long can hope last? Can one continue to hope without signs of a better tomorrow? Without a light at the end of the tunnel or a hint of change, can a person remain hopeful? There is an old Scripture that says “Hope deferred makes the heart sick” (Proverbs 13:12). This sickness happens when we have been hoping for a very long time without even a small sign that what we wish for will come true. For some people the sickness appears in the form of anxiety or depression; for others it may be headaches, hives, nausea, body aches or extreme fatigue. This is the body’s manifestation of the heart giving up hope.

Because we are only human, there is a limit to our hope, but there is never a limit to our faith. Although we are sometimes hopeless, we can continue to have faith that somehow the God of this universe is still in control and works everything together for good…even though to us, it might feel unfathomable.

Call upon your faith today!

Investing in people will yield the largest profit possible. When we invest in people, our resources are multiplied many times more than in the stock market. People offer ideas, comfort, companionship, friendship, help and hope. What two people can accomplish is more than double what can be accomplished by one. Innovative ideas that develop from a group brainstorm session far exceed the value of any investment portfolio. The comfort and support derived from family, friends and neighbors in times of need far out yields any money market fund.

So, when you are not sure how to spend your money, your time and talent, consider investing in your relationships – something we can all count on to provide blessings beyond our expectations.

Although there are times when a guilty conscience is due to a specific issue, many times guilt is unfounded and comes from a learned pattern within. Have you ever made a decision or a choice out of guilt? Do you say yes, committing to do things that you really don’t want to do? Do you beat yourself up about something you said…or even ate? Do you waste time and energy worrying about what others might think of you? These are unhealthy patterns of thinking that you have acquired over many years. You may have witnessed your parents, friends, church members or other relatives acting the same way. Guilt can become something that rules your life and your emotions.

Whatever the cause of our guilty obsession, it’s good to know we have the ability to change. It is time to stop being controlled by feelings of guilt and start being true to YOU! While your goal is never to live life harming people, it is also not to allow guilt and shame to drive your daily agenda. Stop wasting brain space and emotional energy. Begin Guilt-Free Living today!

1. Listen to relaxing music
2. Light candles with sweet smells (vanilla, caramel, cinnamon)
3. Enjoy one of your favorite comfort foods (mine is macaroni and cheese)
4. Journal your thoughts and feelings
5. Take a bubble bath
6. Watch a funny movie
7. Call a friend
8. Do some art (coloring, crafts, collage)
9. Rearrange your room
10. Give yourself a bouquet of flowers
11. Take a brisk walk
12. Pray or meditate
13. Read one of your favorite books
14. Find a pet to hold
15. Breathe deep

Do not let a day go by without taking time for you!

1. Short tempered or often irritable
2. Skipping meals
3. Turning to alcohol to relax
4. No longer excited to see or spend time with your partner
5. Sleeping less than 5 hours or more than 9 hours a day
6. Isolating from friends and family
7. No longer excited to do the things you used to enjoy
8. Unable to focus at work or at home
9. No longer thankful for or appreciative of what you have
10. Rather escape with friends than fulfill responsibilities
11. Trouble getting out of bed in the morning
12. No motivation to do house chores or run errands
13. Eating for comfort when you are not hungry
14. Excessive TV time
15. Feeling that there is no solution or no hope

Rich, poor, employed, or unemployed, sick or healthy, everyone experiences stressful times. We have all had hard days, bad weeks, difficult months and outright terrible seasons in our lives. And, we ALL need help at times. Chances are there are people in your life that need you, depend on you, and love you. In order to take care of them you must first take care of YOU! Because…You Matter!

The brain neurotransmitter that takes over for Dopamine in a long-term relationship is Oxytocin. This is the major bonding chemical. Oxytocin is all about attachment, nurture, love and romance. It increases empathy and builds trust. Oxytocin actually lowers blood pressure, reduces stress and promotes a feeling of safety and security. It is the chemical that not only bonds couples together but also bonds parents to their children. Although it is found in both sexes, it is more prevalent in women.

Vasopressin on the other hand is the bonding chemical that is more predominant in males. It manifests as protector of the turf, provider for the family and the gallant defender of what is “his.” This chemical is the one that tends to produce monogamy, loyalty and commitment. Research now shows that the wide range in Vasopressin receptor genes, may account for the differences in male faithfulness. Like the broad spectrum from total polygamy to total monogamy, the Vasopressin gene also comes in a variety of lengths – at least seventeen lengths to be specific. Men with the longest genes are shown to be the most reliable and trustworthy partners. This is a case in which length really does matter.

Every man and woman has a slightly different mixture of brain chemicals. Generally, women bond easier and more quickly than men, but not always. Like hormones, these neurotransmitters fluctuate depending on our age, stress level and relationship content. There are times and seasons in your life when you will feel closer to your partner than other times.

The good news is that we know how to increase one of the bonding chemicals. Oxytocin can be boosted in both sexes by increasing certain behaviors. If you are interested in developing intimacy and closeness in your relationship, there are specific things you can do. Below is a list of activities that you and your partner can think about adding to your regular routine to keep you happily bonded.

1. Hug and hold (for at least 7 seconds) every day
2. Look into each other’s eyes when you communicate
3. Sit next to each other with your legs touching
4. Hold hands as often as possible
5. Put your arm around each other when you are standing or sitting
6. Smile at each other
7. Spoon in bed naked
8. Massage each other’s feet, neck and shoulder
9. Kiss
10. Make Love!